It's made for whom?

We have this intricate set of personal tastes that no one really understands. These tastes dictate our romantic lives, or so we tell ourselves. In reality, they only exist to give girls an excuse to criticize guys they don't like without feeling bad about themselves. I am not so naive (or so gender-biased) as to imply that this only works one way, but I will tell the story from a man's point of view just for the sake of saving awkward gender-sensitive phrases such as, "When a man/woman and a woman/man fall in love/lust, he/she just can't help him/herself to treat his/her honeybuns/stickybuns to a romantic evening under the stars/makeout sessions during the halftime show."

These tastes become so important to girls that they become somewhat of a code, or a set of rules. Of all of these rules (aka excuses), there are essentially only two categories. The first category is "Too much" and the second is "Not enough." I will ask your pardon in advance to the poor grammatical structure that I will use, but often parallel structure is more affective (not effective, in this case) than grammatical accuracy. "He is too much affectionate." "He is not enough compassionate." "He is too much loud." "He is not enough funny." "He is too much stinky." "He is not enough relaxed." The only time that a woman thinks that she is pleased is when a guy is neither "too much" nor "not enough." But those are just excuses. Contrary to what is most comforting to think, we cannot quantify love.

There is no formulaic answer to the already nebulous question of "what is my type?" In my life, I have "fallen in love" (in quotes because I use love in the Hollywood sense and not a true love, which still eludes me) with all types. I have "loved" a girl that was too loud and liked to dress up and throw parties. I have "loved" a girl that was a fireman's daughter. I have "loved" a girl that liked to read fairy tales in the back seat of my Lincoln (and no, that is not a euphemism). I have "loved" a girl that liked to do puzzles until all hours of the morning. And with every one, I was "too much" something and "not enough" something else, which was just a self-preserving way that they had of saying, "I don't like you."

However difficult it may seem for us guys who try to become the right amount of everything, it is a waste of time because girls don't really want what they say they want; they just want a guy that they love. Until they find that guy, they will make up "too much" and "not enough" excuses about why they don't like those would do anything to make them happy. And I guess that is okay.