Guitar Heroics

At the Javitz Center a couple of weeks ago, the Ziff Davis conglomerate hosted the DigitalLife technology trade show. It's fun stuff, really. Lots of gadgets and gaping black holes into which you can throw hard-earned money. Oh yeah, and one booth handing out lollipops, which I thought was kind of creepy, although delicious.

At DigitalLife, there was a big booth featuring Guitar Hero 3. Now, I have played guitar hero just a few times in my life. I am fine if we are playing a meandering rock ballad on Easy, but anything beyond that just adds extra stress to my life, which is one thing that I don't need. But these kids at DigitalLife, who I consider to be my guitar heroes, are phenomenal. But after watching these guys pleay guitar hero, it makes you wonder if their talents aren't being a bit misguided.

Of course, this is what the video game industry is doing and has done for decades now. When I was younger (what I condescendingly tout as the "before my mission" days), I played my fair share of video games, starting with Sonic the Hedgehog. I could wax off the first level in 32 seconds with my eyes closed. Then came RBI Baseball 2, where I could run up the score into the hundreds before my eyes would dry out and crust over. It was often a crash course in problem solving and perseverence, although I admit that I was never really that good at any video games. (I always played RBI baseball on Rookie and never defeated Dr. Robotnik on the final level, where Sonic flies in a surprisingly agile biplane.)

Essentially, it taught me how to solve problems that didn't really matter and that didn't help me in life. The only times that video games have ever really come in handy is as a networking tool and conversation fodder. ("How you doing, Chris. It's been a while .... so have you played the new Resident Evil? Lot's of ill-tempered zombies in that one ...") And as technology has progressed, the industry has become progressively more capable of tapping highly specialized skills towards meaningless pursuits. Enter Guitar Hero. Enter Dance Dance Revolution. Enter Bass Masters.

The real danger is that these meaningless pursuits aren't as meaningless as we outsiders (we that are jealous) make it out to be. This really matters to a lot of people, mainly a lot of overweight 20-somethings and anemic computer programmers at the Javitz center. It's not because it is a waste of time that it becomes a problem. It is because people don't realize that it is a waste of time. The line separating reality and a false albeit satisfying sense of reality is dissappearing.

This is the argument that I give, and the argument that countless others would give if they had as much time on their hands as I do. So with that in mind, I am going sit on the couch and watch college football. And then I am going to cheer on the Red Sox as they beat the Indians in Game 6. After that, I might read the last few chapter of Frankenstein or go see a show on Broadway.Or otherwise escape reality with a false sense of reality. And I will be joined by the concourses of countless others who purport that Guitar Hero is a waste of time, a senseless squandering of talent. All of whom are really just jealous that we can't play Strutter on Expert.