My Pipedream

So I have now been working as a real, salaried worker for 7ish months, and it's great. Really, I love it. I work in a cubicle, I deal with IT and HR, I stare at a computer and occasionally change my wallpaper. In short, I've done everything that is requisite to laugh at all Dilbert jokes. But I really do enjoy it. However, every man has a dream, and if that dream is reality, then what more can we dream?

So at about 2:30 or so this afternoon, I came to terms with my dream job. The job that, in a perfect world, in the perfect time/place/position in society/etc., I would have. This, mind you is a very fluid concept in my mind that was a basketball player from ages 0-12, a lawyer from ages 12-16, a journalist from ages 16-17, a firefighting journalist from ages 17-19, a seminary-teaching puppy-rescuing child-adopting hair-parting philanthropist from ages 19-21 (ah, the dreams of young missionary minds), and something just a skosh better than superman from ages 21-23. But now, the tides have sloshed towards something better than all of that. Yes, better than Superman.

The new dream is to become a pipe organ builder. Wouldn't that be great? A highly skilled profession in which you get to work with metal and wood and buckets full of power and hand tools. You work with your hands and when you tell people that make organs for a living, they have to be interested, right? And when we talk about job security, there is nothing that can replace a pipe organ, other than 23,000 floutists of varying shapes and sizes. Or at least 23,000 floutist of the same size with flutes of varying sizes.

Now, this idea of course came from my time listening to the best radio program that American Public Media offers, Pipedreams. My BFF Michael Barone takes me on these virtual tours of pipe organs throughout the world and makes me feel so smart by saying things like, "As you probably guessed, this piece was originally scored for the harpsichord," and I nod my head and say, "Of course, it was, Barone. Nothing new here ..."

Today, we went to Macon, Georgia, of all places (Baptists love themselves an organ!). This was the first time that Pipedreams featured the C.B. Fisk Organ , which was (as I already knew, of course) installed in 2000. I guess that it had never occurred to me that people would still be making organs. I thought they might have died out years ago when Rock n' Roll was invented. (I blame Elvis for everything bad that exists.)

But then there's these Fisk Organ folks, out there in Gloucester, Massachusetts, with technical facilities with 2 cranes and 3-D design rooms and a paint and finishing shop and "A fully-equipped woodshop and mill room capable of making every kind of wooden part or structure, with dedicated space for seasoning 5,000 board feet of lumber." And there it is on their Web site, the job description: "C. B. Fisk, Inc. is always interested in talking to talented individuals about joining our team." I wish you could have see the smile on my face.

As you can imagine, they will soon have to be more specific about what they mean by "talented individuals." Because I'm ripping into a "talented individual" resume with bullet points cascading off the page, things like "Learned to juggle with tuna fish cans in one day" and "Proficient at inserting both of my contact lenses at one time" and "Obtained complete mastery of the between-the-legs desperation tennis shot" and "Able to play 'That Old Grey Mare Ain't What She Used to Be' on the trumpet in every major and minor key in the chromatic scale. Also able to play the same on the harmonica."

I'll tell you how it goes. And, if you need a pipe organ made, go ahead and give me a call. Shouldn't be long now before I'll be your go-to guy.