I'm Angry on the Inside

The list of reasons that I blog is extensive. To practice writing something other emails, to wake up the next morning to see if anyone has commented, to boost my sex appeal, etc. At the top of that list has to be the ability to passive-aggressively complain about the times that I have been abused.

I ride my bike to work. I enjoy it. Every morning that I get on my bike I am like a kid again. Often the only thing that drags me out of bed in the morning is knowing that after I shower and pretend to comb my hair, I get to ride my bicycle. Even if I dread every other part of my day, at least I as I ride for 25 minutes to and from work. It is faster than taking the subway, and I always get the best parking spot in the city - locked to the sign post directly in front of my building. I only have to take 7 steps before I am through our revolving doors and on my way to work. Life couldn't get better.

But today the building manager told me that I can't lock my bike in front of the building anymore. I threw the kind of fit that I throw - first by agreeing to do whatever I am told, and then nervously trying to stand up for myself and eventually walking away in the middle of a semi-coherent sentence.

The best answer that he gave me was that I'm not supposed to lock my bike there. I don't really know what that means. Here's what I do know:

• It is not illegal to lock your bike to street signs as long as you don't block the sidewalk or cover the sign itself.
• The sidewalk is public property, not owned by the building.
• The building owner does not allow bikes inside, so I cannot take my bike in with me.
• If I don't lock it up outside my building, I will just lock it up outside the building next door, then making it another building manager's problem. That's like picking up your dog's poop and throwing it over your fence into your neighbor's yard.
• The month of May is National Bike Month. Have a heart.
• I have been locking my bike there at that sign post for almost a year now. Doesn't that give me a legal right to continue to park there? Come on you lawyers, help me out.

Anybody who hates bikes hates childhood memories. And anybody who hates childhood memories has no soul. Why does my building manager hate childhood memories? I don't know. He is from the Bronx, so maybe he never rode a bike.